1. Animals are good

Thirty years ago today, one of the finest (and wildest) pop albums of all time was released. Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love is almost perfect (for true perfection, see the Kate Bush album that preceded it, 1982’s The Dreaming) and sounds as forward-thinking as it did on September 16, 1985 (granted, it could use a remastering). Bush performed the bulk of the album, including its entire Side B suite, The Ninth Wave, during her Before the Dawn residency at London’s Hammersmith Apollo last year. Below are its songs ranked, though it should be noted that every song in the Top 10 is within grasp of the others. This album is that good.

Since the Truman administration, every U.S. President has had one or more code names used by the Secret Service, many of which are now publicly known. Some of them have been pretty inspired! Others, well, not so much.

Mein Kampf, the political bestseller and autobiographical manifesto of one history’s most deranged and murderous mustaches, has 849 reviews on Amazon.com. These are our favorites.

One of the greatest things about the entertainment business is the relative ease with which Popular Teens (and, oddly enough, Real Housewives) can snap up ill-advised record deals. Largely lost to the annals of history, most of these teen queen songs didn’t exactly “make the charts” or, for that matter, “make any money at all.” But they still totally rule!

27. Poltergeist

On April 20, 2015, Twitter made it possible for everyone to receive direct messages from the general public, should they so choose. Previously, you were only able to message the people currently following you. So several hours after the new feature was announced, I opted in. This was probably a mistake.

I’m a pretty big “yes” person, as in if you ask me to do something, I will probably say yes, emphatically and with a smile on my face. The minute I do this, I start to regret every single second leading up to the moment where I have to do the thing you have asked me to do. When this moment arrives, it’s fine. But not a single second before.

On the surface, Washington D.C. indie rock band The Dismemberment Plan and Wyomissing, Pennsylvania pop singer Taylor Swift, who just kicked off her 1989 world tour in Japan, have little in common, just kidding. They have a lot in common on the surface: they’re very white, cute, non-threatening, and they seem fun, but definitely not quite OK. Their musical compatibility, though perhaps not immediately apparent, exists because their music stems from nearly all of the same areas.

32. Cocos – Milk chocolate with flakes of coconut in the center (Silver Wrapper)

In New York City, bar and bat mitzvahs are more than just a weekend in shul—they're a seventh grader's entrée into society. So what do your dad's work connections plus your mom's deep-seated need to one-up Sharon's kid's party get you? Let's recap.

Yum. Vitamin C is the best part of winter. Lemon-eating freaks, I don't want to hear from you.

James Brown once said, "Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things he's got it all." Brown did not have a diastema, which is a gap between two teeth, most often found between a person's central incisors.

Last night's CBS special Stevie Wonder: Songs in the Key of Life — An All-Star Grammy Salute featured a montage of Stevie Wonder at the Grammy Awards throughout the years. The guy can dress! Or I guess that's: the guy can pick stylists. Doesn't matter. For a blind man, he has great looks. Here are all of them that were featured in the montage, ranked:

Bruno Mars, excitable superstar, and Mark Ronson, producer, have been on a tour of television programs lately with showing after showing of their retro classic "Uptown Funk," my favorite song to listen to while walking to the subway. This is also my favorite song to listen to while doing literally anything at all.

Let's try and do better next year, everyone.

5. Text Messages

10. Anything with sweet potato in it

Despite being a very famous band with access to the best resources the music industry can buy, One Direction decided to put two bad candid photographs on the cover of their new album Four. In both photos, each member of the band is making a dumb and stupid face. These are those faces ranked in ascending order of dumbness and stupidity.

15.